Thursday, March 8, 2012

Full Moon Shining Bright....

There are a lot of things in my life that I think I know for sure and true and a lot of things I know absolutely nothing about respectfully. Since I have said that I do know without a shadow of a doubt that when the moon is full and shining in the night sky chaos for Wednesday will certainly ensue. Please allow me to defend my "scientific proof" for my peeps. Since I am a full fledged registered nurse I learned this fact the hard way. My first nursing job 10 years ago was in a very busy Adult Intensive Care for a Level 1 Trauma unit and I absolutely loved (and at times hated) the controlled chaos that it brought and using and learning my critical nursing skills. One lovely full moon evening I was working and was assigned to the Code Blue Team (also loved this duty for the adrenaline rush). This full moon night was not just a regular crazy full moon night, rather a rare total eclipse full phase something, something scientific that only happens once in like every 800 years....(I am not an astronomer obviously but I remember it was a rare event). What happened next was unlike anything I had ever experienced and the "crap" definitely hit the fan hard this night.

The code blue team had SEVEN actual codes called and two of which I remember we were running on the unit simultaneously directly across from each other on the surgical unit. We ran our butts off all over that huge hospital and got our tails handed to us on a silver platter. I remember vividly one of my great male co-workers who was definitely a seasoned nurse and whom I truly looked up to looking at me and saying "Young lady full moon or not when I see your name on the code team I'm running the other way". Now this was not all due to Wednesday's presence, but from that night on I truly became a believer of working in health care and a full moon and what to expect. I'm sure this is probably true for many other professions however I can only speak for myself and the nursing side of this opinion. My opinion on this has held steadfast throughout the years and if you happen to ask anyone who has worked in health care for awhile my bet is they will agree with me on this one. Unfortunately for Wednesday this week (full moon in all its glory) has not let me down on my theory.

I happen to have a wonderful co-worker/partner that is also a believer of this full moon mystic and we often find great humor when we know that a full moon "is coming" and trying to prepare ourselves (not like you really can but maybe it makes us feel better that we're trying to be proactive?!). I tell her that I can tell its coming because she really does seem to attract the crazies like a moth to a outside light lamp and often beg her not to wear the color red, but she throws caution to the wind and wears red anyway. (sidebar here: in my scientific opinion the color red also heightens the madness). I would also like to point out that if the moon has enough influence on the ocean tides then I feel confident if affects the craziness and odd behavior of people! Throw in this week's full moon, wild and unpredictable weather and the upcoming time change and you just have a time bomb on your hands. Again, I know you all are reading this and thinking Wednesday you are just making this crap up and you are welcome to your opinions, but I am telling you that in my book this is a form of gospel and I am simply preaching the word.

Luckily there is only one day left in this work week in full moon phase and for that I say hallelujah! Several chaotic and odd things have happened this week and I've also noticed this distress with others and we just nod our heads in agreement that it is all the moon's fault and you can't fight mother nature. I am also fully aware that good Lord willing I will be subjected to many more full moons to further prove my theory, but for now I'm just really wanting to survive till Friday afternoon and take up the battle another day. Oh yeah I almost forgot to mention this: please for the love of all that is holy and pure if it is a full moon and you're working in the vicinity of Wednesday please don't wear red but definitely wear your cross and say a little prayer for divine intervention (I got this point covered). Until we meet again Mr Moon......

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Betty Crocker I am not......

As many of my friends and acquaintances know this fact that Wednesday does NOT cook. Now before you all go off half cocked and start a riot because I'm a woman and don't have a passion to whip up some Paula Dean food, I simply ask to hear me out. My beloved Mother (aka Meme) is hands down one of the best cooks I've ever tasted and she has been taught "old school" how things should be prepared. Also when I was a little tater tot my babysitter "Mama Jenks my great Aunt" was also fierce in the kitchen. Now I'm not sure when others got the "desire or passion to cook" but this bug never did bite Wednesday.  This is not to say the dear old Mom didn't try her best to pass along her family recipe book. It just didn't happen and I can say with assurance that ship has sailed.

Now obviously if you know me or see me you know I don't go hungry (thank you Lord above) and my wonderful family and friends. You know when someone at work is planning a party or get together and there is always a do-goodier there (Marylyn this is you) that makes sure you have enough meat,veggies, drinks, fixings, etc. My job is usually drinks, paper plates, disposable silverware etc. No cooking involved. But if someone was crazy enough to write me down for actual food, I would go right to the Food City and purchase it.Besides that why should I stress myself out about shopping/cooking/preparing a meal when there are so many great restaurants, drive thrus and Daddy Bear---people that actually like doing this! It is not for me Sisters and I'm tired of people saying "well you're a woman and women cook---what does your Mom think or your husband---My Lord the world is ending because Wednesday can't and won't cook somebody call the National Guard!!

Now listen folks, I've got 39 years worth of wear and tear on this body and thus far on this path I have not cooked even one home meal. Meme tried to teach me to no avail, Daddy Bear refuses to let me go anywhere near the kitchen due to previous shall we say "incidents" and my beloved child Mr is on board too. I remember when he was in 2nd grade and told his teachers that his Mom couldn't even make a salad and that Daddy Bear did the cooking because his Momma Bear was watching Sex and the City. It was all true of course, but none the less I was somewhat embarrassed. Not too long ago I was attempting to cook popcorn in the microwave and again what happens? Anarchy you guessed it. Mr comes out of his room with a totally disgusted look on his face, throws the black burnt popcorn outside and proceeds to say "Mom you can't cook so you need to leave the microwave alone!" See even the boy knows and is ok with me being absent in the kitchen. Anyway the point of this post is A) I am a female/mother B)I understand that the intake of food is a must if you want to continue to live on this planet C)As a female not every female believes you should be slapped with a label and expected to wear it proudly. So there you go and you know that I will not be entering any cooking contests rather I'll be in line at the local drive through or picking up food from a restaurant. If you do see me in the kitchen call 911 and save yourself! :)